Just needed an output where i could place my thoughts.

Hi!

it’s been a while!
Recently I was split on thinking I am Unhappy and constantly on a tug of war that I am Happy.

I’m not sure if this is something that comes with the age going 30 soon. lol

Why I think I’m Unhappy :
-Not wealthy enough
-still single? and have noone of interest to date (I’m not really sure about it)
-Weight just wont go down (unless i starve myself)
-I’m getting impatient regarding things that i want
-I feel like i wasted my mid 20’s being stuck in something where i dont want to be in ( i dont wanna share this too much cuz people involved might see it lol )
-I’m a licensed architect but i’ve never had a project under my signature built yet! I’m like the virgin architect in terms of projects lol! I had notable ones where i was involved in designs and production process but never had one where i’m the signing architect.

Why I think I’m Happy :
-studying nihongo made me happier
-constant communication with japanese idols/bands left me a really good feeling
-My dream country is easier to access now that i have a multiple entry Visa.
-occasionally when i am able to solve a design problem on my work it leaves a good feeling.
-Sometimes videos games helps takes the edge off but I feel like it becomes a chore too haha!
-OH YEAH! my new found interest in photography is getting me excited for a few weeks now (I mainly wanted to shoot gravure photos of RaMu and other idols in her company)
-Reading Elfriede’s Lyrics on their new album while listening to it over and over ( I’m gonna do some kind of write up for this album! )
-when i go jogging in the evening it somehow makes me feel happy lol no clue why. its like just tiring the fuck out of myself lmao.